I grew up surrounded by a lot of lies. Wow, dramatic. But it’s true, and this is almost everyone’s reality. We are raised with misinformation from TV, peers, even mentors because not everyone has it completely correct all the time. So a lot of adulthood means humbly recognizing that you may have bought into a couple damaging lies over the years.

A big one for me concerned love and marriage. TV taught me the lie that love is romantic, it’s butterflies and emotional highs all the time. It took until a few days before my wedding at 23 years old for this lie to start breaking down. This information about marriage and love didn’t make sense to me. What if you were like me and you weren’t particularly emotional? How can someone who isn’t emotional love her husband well?

Relying on emotion is a dangerous way to love. Emotions are temporary. You’re not happy or sad forever. These feelings wax and wane. What I learned (finally) was the importance of choosing love. On the days when I’m exhausted or stressed from work, I can go home and choose gentleness and kindness in my interactions with Phil. As difficult as it sometimes is, or counter to how I’m feeling, choosing love in a tough situation has always produced more happiness and peace in my household. And I’m glad that when it’s hard to be loving, I don’t have to do it in my own strength.

Thank you for reminding us of this important truth, Alliana. I wish you and your husband many years of happiness and love together.

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